If you are a woman who has ever been groped, grabbed, kissed by a man without permission, then you know what Donald Trump is talking about on his audio is abuse. Clothed in lewd words. Cloaked in vulgarity. And the fact that his defense is locker room banter is nearly laughable – if it weren’t so despicable and illegal. I looked to my husband and asked,
“You’ve been in locker rooms. Have you ever heard this kind of talk?”
“The kind when they are talking about abusing a woman? No.”
According to my husband, men don’t talk like that in private. They don’t use those words to describe women they want to “fuck.” But the words he chooses in this released audio aren’t what is so vulgar. It is what he is describing that is vulgar. If he said I grabbed her by the vagina, instead of pussy, it would have the same shocking and damning effect. Because a grab is worse than a pussy and Trump is not a true man. A gentleman. A leader.
Any and all of his supporters who are easily brushing this aside as an old private conversation on an entertainment show are either lying and dying inside, making deals with God, or they see nothing wrong with this because they, too, speak about and feel the same way about women. That women are supposed to be beautiful, so they can assault them. That being a beautiful woman is an invitation for open season on her body. Because they have to be asking for a hand in their vagina. Why else would they want to be pretty? That a beautiful woman is fair game for those men in power. He says it right there. If you are famous, you can do anything. You can grab them by the pussy.
This is, however, a statement fully accepted by those touting Family Values and the self-professed Christian men politicians who have not run screaming from their support of Trump. Their hypocrisies are mind blowing. Their integrity, shredded. Their right to lead people, evaporated. Because you cannot preach one thing – such as respecting women, their wives and daughters – and still support this repulsive, egotistical, misogynist, predator – and hold on to their character core. They have none as far as I am concerned.
To stand up and say the audio was sickening, yet not say the man is deplorable and support him as President of the Unite States – makes you as weak and as threatening as Trump. Representative Jason Chaffetz is the only politician who has retracted his support. A man who has spent his career attempting to ruin Hillary, and far from my favorite person on the Hill, decided he couldn’t look his fifteen-year-old daughter in the eye and continue to rally for Donald. I may disagree with everything this man stands for, but the fact he has stood up to his party, is impressive. Sadly, it shouldn’t have to be. It should just be the norm.
Will this have any effect on his supporters? No. Because they are uneducated white men who dream his audio every night. Who want to be him. To have his fame so they can grab the hell out of pussies. The women who support him are delusional and disturbing. Trump’s Lewandowsky says that people talk like this at the dinner table. If this is so, our country is passed be screwed. But it would make sense that a man like Trump has gotten this far because as rich as he is, he meets them at crassness and disrespect. Then there are those female supporters who will simply think it is funny. That it is entertainment.
But the rate of sexual assault on women is staggering. I would venture to believe in the swells and crowds of his rallies there are women who have been groped, grabbed and kissed without permission. That they know in one split second they have been violated. That their right to simply be a person in this world, without violence or trauma, isn’t real. That they are standing there one minute, and the next they will always have the filthy imprint of a violation to their very private and very personal places. Because they have been threatened. And it is terrifying. And it is dehumanizing.
The man who sat behind me in a movie theater when I was fourteen-years-old, whose hands crept through the crevices in my chair, grabbing my breasts, is a man I will never forget. And that is not by choice. Not by my choice. It was the moment for me that burst the truth – that my body is my own. It is still laced with that experience. That humiliation. That fear and that anger
All of these people who are laughing this off as ‘a boys will be boys’ moment – despite the boy being newly married and fifty-nine-years-old at the time – are condoning hitting on women when they protest, grabbing women before they can even say no, slobbering all over a young woman because she is pretty. And that is the substance that makes their presidential candidate the best choice to run our country. To run a country filled with beautiful women. To run a country full of mothers, sisters, aunts, nieces and daughters.